My guess is that you have more women serving as volunteers in your youth and children’ ministries than men. You probably even have more women on staff at your church than men. I’m not mad at you; I just think that if that’s true, it’s time to man up.
Generally speaking, women do make up a higher percentage of church attendees, a significantly larger percentage of church staff, and a very high percentage of midweek children’s and youth ministry volunteers. And I’m excited about the incredible (and growing) influence women have in the church and public life.
In fact, this weekend, camp will welcome about 500 women for our annual Fall Women’s Retreat. I love the opportunity we have to provide a weekend away for these women who love and serve and give so much of themselves day after day and week after week… in their homes, communities and churches. And I love that we get to encourage and equip them to be of tremendous influence in those spaces.
But I saw it when I served in campus ministry. I see it in our efforts to recruit summer staff at camp. And I see it in the church today. That there is still a noticeable lack of men in serving roles. And I know that the research says that if you gain a man’s commitments—to God, to the church, to his family—more times than not, you gain the whole family. (Church For Men has compiled a great resource on these statistics.)
And that’s why I love to see churches like Kensington and 2|42 Community planning unashamedly manly retreats that don’t just tell guys to man up, but teach them how. In a weekend, they grow beards and shave them. They watch sports. They chop wood… competitively. They pull semi trucks with their bare hands. They race through impossible obstacle courses… and, yes, they also provide no-holds-barred teaching that re-educates men on how to lead and love and serve in their homes, communities and churches.
But it shouldn’t stop with a weekend. So here are some ways to engage more men in your children’s and youth ministries:
Ask men to serve.
You’ve got to ask. Not, will you help, or can you help… or a signup sheet at some information table, but a genuine, face-to-face hand on the shoulder ask. Try something like, “Our kids need great adult male role models, and I want you to be one of them.”
Don’t apologize, and don’t wimp out.
Give men meaningful roles.
Men want to know they made a difference, not just made a stage prop or fixed a broken thing. Invite them to lead small groups, to teach on stage, and to be present to greet parents at the door as they drop off their kids and students.
Affirm men respectfully.
Tell them thank you, but also tell them why you’re thankful for their involvement and the results it produces in the ministry and in the lives of your kids and students. Men like results, and they like to know the part they had in bringing them about.
How are you working to involve more men in your youth ministry or children’s ministry programs?
