Why being right doesn’t matter.

When I was a kid—even a teenager, I guess—I had a problem: I always wanted to be right. Perhaps the bigger problem was that I pretty much always thought I was. It’s one of those things that even today, I sometimes find myself falling back into. We all do: we want to win the argument, convince the world, and get people to think and act like us.

Truth matters

Since the Supreme Court’s recent ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act, we’ve all seen a flurry of news commentary, protests, blogs, and status updates declaring whether their decision was right or wrong. Since I’m not a lawyer or a judge, I won’t comment on what I think about the ruling. But I will say that what is far more important than whether their decision was right or wrong, is that the decision of the Supreme Court does not affect what is true.

What is true about marriage, what God says about marriage, and what is true in my marriage and yours, will not change based on the decision of any court. So being right—arguing about the decision or your position—is ultimately far less important than the unchanging truth. No matter of arguing will change that.

Perception matters

The sign on the wall at the barber shop reads, “The customer is always right.” In customer service, it’s true, because whether they are or not is far less important than whether they think they are. The barber could give me a great cut, but if it’s not what I asked for or if I don’t like it, it doesn’t matter how good he thought it was.

This is why, when we’re serving guests, customers, or one another, there’s no advantage in being right. The advantage comes when the one we’re serving is satisfied with the service they’ve received. It almost always pays to give up right for satisfied.

Dialogue matters

When I was in campus ministry I had the opportunity to discuss the Scriptures with not a few atheists and agnostics. None of them received Christ because of an argument which resulted in them realizing that I was right.

I can say that in ten years I did see a number of them become convinced of what was right through dialogue, study and prayer. These transformations were utterly dependent on dialogue focused on the truth (what was right) rather than the evangelist (who was right).

The result matters

So, today, the goal is not to be right. The goal is to accomplish our mission, to live out our calling, and to be faithful to the truth. And, if it is necessary, I will gladly give up being right for the sake of those things.

 

What do you think? Have you found yourself so caught up in being right that you missed something far more important?