How to sabotage a great message: five things you should never say when you’re speaking or preaching

I walked on to the stage with copious notes and a full manuscript. I had carefully thought through what I was going to say, writing and re-writing several parts of my message for hours. I felt confident in what I had written—what God had given me to share that day. But when I opened my mouth, other things came out, things I had not written.

Throughout my message I interjected self-deprecating remarks, short phrases that indicated I lacked confidence in myself and my message after all. Preachers and public speakers do this all the time, either feigning humility or truly lacking confidence in their preparation and message.

Here are five phrases I’ve heard—or said—that you should avoid whether you’re preaching, teaching, or leading a meeting.

1. “When I was thinking about what to say today…” While you may value the preparation process, most of the time your audience is most interested in what you came to, not how you came to it. In the rare case that what happened during your preparation would actually support your message, just share what you learned. There’s no reason to embellish and amplify with extraneous and flowery words and unnecessary parenthetical phrases.
2. “The American Heritage Dictionary defines _______ as…” This may have worked in elementary school presentations, but your reliance on a dictionary to define key words you should be an expert on doesn’t inspire confidence in your hearers. Instead, if it’s relevant, just tell us what the word means. Compare it with other words. Offer insight into its etymology and original roots in Greek or Latin. Allow the context of your teaching to provide further insight into the meaning of words.
3. “If I’m boring you…” If you are, they already know it. If you aren’t yet, saying this won’t help. It will only make things worse. Instead, if you feel like you are boring your audience, take a deep breath, stand up straighter, smile, raise your voice a little and continue with confidence. Maybe they’ll forget you started out boring.
4. “…and I’m still learning about this…” Of course you are. You can communicate your commitment to continued growth and learning on the matter by how you address the topic. No one expects you to have arrived, that is, unless you have set them up to believe that by your arrogant tone or critical remarks about others. You can avoid this by using I and we when you share points of application, rather than exclusively you.
5. “And in conclusion…” When I hear that phrase, I put my pen away and close my Bible. I’m guessing much of the audience does that too—either literally or figuratively checking out. Your final words and phrases should be the most impactful. They are the words that—like the last song you hear in the car—stick in the minds of your hearers. Keep them engaged until the end and leave them wanting more.

Some of my best experiences preaching and teaching are the ones where I have felt confident about the message I had to share, and in my thorough preparation. When I walk on the stage feeling like my notes are unnecessary, I can speak from my heart and challenge my listeners. I never walk back to my seat after one of those messages wishing I had said and in conclusion one more time.

In my next few posts, I’ll share some more things I’ve learned over 15 years of occasional preaching and teaching, including how to tell a compelling story, and how to capture and control the energy of a group.

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